A Disciple's Modesty

      By Fern Horst

"I will therefore that men pray every where, lifting up holy hands, without wrath and doubting. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array." (I Timothy 2:8-9)

One Sunday morning the deacon of our church thanked the women of the congregation for dressing modestly when they came to church. Working each day of the week with women who did not exercise modesty, he expressed gratefulness for the rest from battling lustful thoughts he received each Sunday because of the modesty of the women at church.

As I looked around the congregation I realized it is not without attractive women. But they are women who choose not to exalt themselves through the types of clothing they wear nor the way they conduct themselves in public.

His expression of appreciation compelled me as a woman to continue to exercise modesty in both dress and actions. It also made me realize that both men and women play a role in the principle of modesty. It is a woman's responsibility to make modest choices in the clothing she buys and wears, in how she handles her body, and in how she relates to men. It is a man's responsibility to affirm and show appreciation for women's choices of modesty. As single women watch single men gravitating towards women who dress to appeal to a man's sexual nature, they can come to the conclusion that is how they must dress and behave to attract men. The opposite, of course, can also be true: the more men choose to relate to women who are modest in appearance and action, the more women will be affirmed in their modesty.

As singles the struggle of modesty is sometimes a difficult one. Most single women want to strongly appeal to a potential husband, and most single men want to be strongly attracted to a potential wife. The appeal of "love at first sight" is a strong one. It takes the work out of getting to know the other person on a deeper level. Modesty is important whether one marries or remains single. It is important in the role of selecting a mate as it reveals the true person: are they driven mainly by the sinful nature or the spiritual one? A godly marriage requires that both mates allow the Holy Spirit to lead and control them.

For those men and women who remain single, God has a calling and purpose in His kingdom. A godly single life which serves the purposes for which God intended, requires that the single person not purposefully appeal sexually to the opposite sex, nor gravitate towards those who do.

It boils down to the fact that it takes self-discipline for both single men and single women to travel the path of modesty. It also requires that we allow the Holy Spirit to control our thoughts, our motives, our choices, and our actions. It is not the easiest nor the most immediately gratifying route to take, but it is the more godly and long-lasting rewarding one. Most importantly, modesty is the path that God has commanded His people to take. Whether the opposite sex appreciates or responds to our modest lifestyle is not what is most important. Obeying God at all costs, is.

© 2006 Fern Horst

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